The Ginger Gene

Through the trials of evolution, Many species face persecution 

Become fossilised institutions,  Never again to be seen 

The big cats with the sabre tooth, The Dodo Bird, the Great Mammoth 

The Laughing Owl no longer hoots, And soon it’s the ginger gene 

 

Gone – the Goliath White Toothed Shrew, The Red Gazelle, the Broad Faced Potoroo 

The Kangaroo Island Emu,  The Fruit Dove of the Philippines 

Say “adieu” to the Pristine Moustached Bat, The Barbados Raccoon and the Bulldog Rat 

And next up for that Darwinian swat, Is the under threat ginger gene 

 

Was it messages subliminal, That made the red line terminal? 

Why it’s nothing short of criminal, Those relentless hostile themes 

Red says "stop the lights", Red says "far from right" 

It’s red says "fight or plight",  And "goodnight to the ginger gene"

 

Why a world black, brown and blonde, Would be plain dull and wrong 

With no fair, freckled friends among, To ridicule and sell sun cream 

Then fashion is the curse,  That painted red perverse 

And so now I fear the worst, For our cherished ginger gene 

 

 Ginger has cross community status, From Prince Harry to Martin McGuinness 

There’s McEnroe - you can’t be serious! Nicole Kidman, Norma Jean 

Winston Churchill, George Washington, Cleopatra, wee Napoleon 

Willie Nelson, Wilma Flintstone, And Ginger, the dancing queen 

 

Do we credit no more merit, Than some frog, newt or parrot? 

Surely we must warrant, Status as endangered beings 

Like elephants and tigers slain, Our numbers too - have waned 

And so few of us remain, With this genetic code supreme 

 

Why last night I could not sleep, As this loss would make me weep 

The red line we must keep, To roll on the rustic reams 

With my follicles turning grey, I just had to find a way 

To extrapolate that DNA, Then it came to me in a dream 

 

We need a gallant action plan, To sew red seeds across the land 

 To copulate before contraband, All red gasuns and colleens 

We’ll get a European grant (until recently!),  Now there’s a clever slant 

Hard cash just to implant, And make all non-gingers green 

 

Relinquish - no we mustn’t! Breed a ginger bakers’ dozen 

Even if you're cousins, Sure that works for kings and queens 

With our passion and our fire, We’ll pull it from the wire 

Show them we’re not expired, We’re still a big part of the scene 

 

So boys – don’t wait until tomorra, To grab that Maureen O’Hara 

Girls – a Robert Redford you could borra, Do your bit to raise the mean 

We’ll breed redheads by the score, Maybe millions, maybe more 

We’ll be last through that extinction door, We’re certainly no has-beens 

 

Why! Without red there is no rainbow, No sunsets to soothe and glow 

Few tulips would bloom and grow,  There’d be no hand for Ulster themes 

There’d be half a deck of cards, With no King, no Queen of hearts 

And Amsterdam would be dark in parts... Without those lights that gleam 

 

So let us not say fare thee well, To the Noddy Holders, the Geri Halliwells 

We’ll be no jarred specimens,  Behind some museum screen 

So, let us Red! United! Stand! Let our members grow, expand 

In the name of that most passionate brand... 

The gorgeous 

The glorious 

The magnificent 

Ginger gene!