The Ginger Gene
Through the trials of evolution, Many species face persecution
Become fossilised institutions, Never again to be seen
The big cats with the sabre tooth, The Dodo Bird, the Great Mammoth
The Laughing Owl no longer hoots, And soon it’s the ginger gene
Gone – the Goliath White Toothed Shrew, The Red Gazelle, the Broad Faced Potoroo
The Kangaroo Island Emu, The Fruit Dove of the Philippines
Say “adieu” to the Pristine Moustached Bat, The Barbados Raccoon and the Bulldog Rat
And next up for that Darwinian swat, Is the under threat ginger gene
Was it messages subliminal, That made the red line terminal?
Why it’s nothing short of criminal, Those relentless hostile themes
Red says "stop the lights", Red says "far from right"
It’s red says "fight or plight", And "goodnight to the ginger gene"
Why a world black, brown and blonde, Would be plain dull and wrong
With no fair, freckled friends among, To ridicule and sell sun cream
Then fashion is the curse, That painted red perverse
And so now I fear the worst, For our cherished ginger gene
Ginger has cross community status, From Prince Harry to Martin McGuinness
There’s McEnroe - you can’t be serious! Nicole Kidman, Norma Jean
Winston Churchill, George Washington, Cleopatra, wee Napoleon
Willie Nelson, Wilma Flintstone, And Ginger, the dancing queen
Do we credit no more merit, Than some frog, newt or parrot?
Surely we must warrant, Status as endangered beings
Like elephants and tigers slain, Our numbers too - have waned
And so few of us remain, With this genetic code supreme
Why last night I could not sleep, As this loss would make me weep
The red line we must keep, To roll on the rustic reams
With my follicles turning grey, I just had to find a way
To extrapolate that DNA, Then it came to me in a dream
We need a gallant action plan, To sew red seeds across the land
To copulate before contraband, All red gasuns and colleens
We’ll get a European grant (until recently!), Now there’s a clever slant
Hard cash just to implant, And make all non-gingers green
Relinquish - no we mustn’t! Breed a ginger bakers’ dozen
Even if you're cousins, Sure that works for kings and queens
With our passion and our fire, We’ll pull it from the wire
Show them we’re not expired, We’re still a big part of the scene
So boys – don’t wait until tomorra, To grab that Maureen O’Hara
Girls – a Robert Redford you could borra, Do your bit to raise the mean
We’ll breed redheads by the score, Maybe millions, maybe more
We’ll be last through that extinction door, We’re certainly no has-beens
Why! Without red there is no rainbow, No sunsets to soothe and glow
Few tulips would bloom and grow, There’d be no hand for Ulster themes
There’d be half a deck of cards, With no King, no Queen of hearts
And Amsterdam would be dark in parts... Without those lights that gleam
So let us not say fare thee well, To the Noddy Holders, the Geri Halliwells
We’ll be no jarred specimens, Behind some museum screen
So, let us Red! United! Stand! Let our members grow, expand
In the name of that most passionate brand...
The gorgeous
The glorious
The magnificent
Ginger gene!