The Ginger Gene - Ballydehob Folk Festival

"A recitation lamenting the disapperance of ginger hair - recorded at the Ballydehob Folk Festival in Levi's bar April 2011"

The Ginger Gene

Due to repeated requests for the words of this recitation "The Ginger Gene"  here they are.
Many of the requestees had not a visible trace of ginger in them!
This recitation should be performed without a safety net.

The Ginger Gene

In the trials of evolution
Many species face persecution
Become fossilised institutions
Never again to be seen
The big cat with the sabre tooth
The dodo bird, the great mammoth
The laughing owl no longer hoots
And soon it’s the ginger gene

Gone – the goliath white toothed shrew
The red gazelle, the broad faced potoroo
The Kangaroo Island emu
The fruit dove of the Philippines
Say “adieux” to the pristine moustached bat
The Barbados racoon and the bulldog rat
And next in line for that Darwinian swat
The under threat ginger gene

Was it messages subliminal
That made the red line terminal?
Why it’s nothing short of criminal
Their relentless hostile themes
It’s red says stop the lights
It’s red says far from right
It’s red says fight or plight
And goodnight to the ginger gene

Why a world black, brown and blonde
Would be plain dull and wrong
With no fair freckled friends among
To ridicule and sell sun cream
Then fashion is the curse
That painted red perverse
And so now I fear the worst
For the cherished ginger gene

Yet we hold cross community status
With Reg Empey and Martin McGuinness
There’s McEnroe “You can’t be serious!”
Nicole Kidman, Norma Jean
Winston Churchill, George Washington
Cleopatra, wee Napoleon
Willie Nelson, Wilma Flintstone
And Ginger, the dancing queen
Do we credit no more merit
Than some frog, newt or parrot?
Surely we must warrant
Status as endangered beings
Like the elephants and tigers slain
Our numbers too have waned
And so few of us remain
With this genetic code supreme

Why last night I could not sleep
As this loss would make me weep
The red line we must keep
To roll on the rustic reams
With my follicles turning grey
I just had to find a way
To extrapolate that DNA
Then it came to me in a dream

We need a gallant action plan
To sew red seeds across the land
To copulate before contraband
All red gasons and colleens
We’ll get a European grant
There’s a clever slant
Hard cash just to implant
And make all non-gingers green

Relinquish - no we mustn’t
Breed a ginger bakers’ dozen
As long as you’re not cousins
‘Cos you know that is obscene
With our passion and our fire
We’ll pull it from the wire
Show them we’re not expired
We’re still a big part of the scene

So boys – don’t wait until tomarra
To find that Maureen O’Hara
Girls – a Robert Redford you could bara
Do your bit to raise the mean
We’ll breed red heads by the score
Maybe millions, maybe more
We’ll be last through that extinction door
We’re certainly no has beens

Without red there’d be no rainbow
No sunsets to sooth and glow
Few tulips to bloom and grow
There’d be no hand for Ulster themes
There’d be half a deck of cards
With no King and Queen of hearts
Amsterdam would be dark in parts
Without those lights that gleam

So let us not say fare thee well
To the Noddy Holders & Geri Halliwells
We’ll be no jarred specimens
Behind some museum screen
Let us red united stand
Let our members grow, expand
In the name of that most passionate brand
The gorgeous
The glorious
The magnificent
Ginger gene